~*~ ZER0 X READER CHAPTER 6 ~*~ ( BORDERLANDS 2 )

(( WARNING: SWEARING, REFERENCES TO SEXUAL ACTIVITIES, SPOILERS, SHITTY FUCKING ROMANCE. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED >:II ))

         ~*~Le flashback~*~
    “How rude. Leaving a lady like this….at least I have you wall. Oh why the hell not...let’s just……” You crouched and slowly walking towards them, close enough so that you could at least hear part of what they were saying.
    “When we…….it in”
    “But what……..goes wrong?”
    “We……...see”
    You were so focused on listening you didn't hear anyone nearby until a whisper in your ear from a deep voice caught your attention.

    “It isn’t very polite or lady like to eavesdrop y’know.....”
         ~*~Le flashback over~*~

        “GYAHG!” You screeched almost loudly turning about abruptly only to fall on your gluteus maximus (your butt, the more you know~*~~**~*~*~**~*). You look up to see none other than the guy who loved to shove sticks up people’s asses, metaphorically and literally. Axton.
        “Woah there, princess it’s just me, calm down.” He put emphases on ‘princess’ trying to ‘soothe’ you. That ass was just cruising for a bruising, wasn’t he?
        You sigh, jamming all your anger into a bottle so you don’t blister his ears with your rage. “Whatever, now what do you want?” You raised your brow in a questioning manner.
        “Well we gotta go, Mr. Commando in the headquarters is getting all his corn flakes shat in with every passing second. So we gotta go rush over there before he throws his bowls of shit at us.” Axton replied with a neutral face.
        “Oh.” You stated bluntly, by ‘Mr. Commando you assume he meant Roland, commander of the Crimson Raiders. Anywho.
        “ZERO! MORDECAI! GET YOUR ASSES OVER HERE.” Axton suddenly screamed causing the two to look over to him.
        You face palmed at his actions before you heard Mordecai speak.
        “We better go to the boss man now.” He said, already heading off towards HQ.
        While all four of you were walking Zero’s telecommunicator, or whatever the fuck it’s called, went off. The voice that spoke surprised you.
        (makin’ up my own dialogue for this) “Heeeyyyy! What’s up? It’s me~ Handsome Jack. And I noticed-” What the…..is he eating those god damn pretzels again? You had heard munching on the other line, and mentally sigh. Before you can complain on how random he is he interrupts you by mumbling to himself. “Man these pretzels suck…..” He cut himself off with a swallowing noise. “Anyways-!” more munching, “-I just wanted to check in on you bandits, y’know see how everyone’s doin’.....oh! And to ask you guys why the hell you aren’t dead yet. OH, right! Why the FUCK aren’t you dead yet?! I thought I mentioned earlier that I’M the HERO. YOU GUYS are the bandits!! You know what? I’m going to open my camera system now, peek in on you guys. And snap some really embarrassing shit. And then spread it ALLLLLLL through of Pandora! How about that?! Lemme just-”
        You hear the sound of a rolly chair side across a metal flooring and then some shuffling and typing noises. You stood there, confused.
        “I…..I don’t remember this dialogue…..could I have forgotten? Or maybe….” Your thoughts drifted as a certain thought, and memory, slapped you across the face. “Could my….. very existence here…… be changing the game’s plot? Not to mention, who was that guy before I wound up here?” Before your thoughts could travel further you heard Handsome Jack’s rolly chair slide back over to the telecommunicator.
        “OK! I got my camera-” more munching noises could be heard, “-and like I’mma just hook this up here……and then tap these few things-” you could hear tapping noises, “-and zooooooooom in…….AH HA. There you little fuckers are. Now, do something embarrassing- wait…..who’s that chick with you guys? OOOOOOH ARE YOU GUYS HAVIN’ A FOURSOME?! Kinky…. Me likey…… But back to stalking you. Now. You all just go and have your little cute prissy adventures while I, Handsome mother fucking JACK. GO back to be the….can you guess? Oh, that’s right, go back to being the HERO of the story. See ya.”
        A phone-like hanging up noise is heard between the four of you as you all look at each other with Zero having a little ‘ಠ_ಠ’ symbol project in front of his face from the hologram thingy maboober in his helmet. You forgot he could do that. Axton shared Zero’s ‘expression’ except…….not ಠ_ಠ exactly but something that could be related to such. Mordecai……..well he had a face of ‘I don’t give any fucks, can we just go now?’ While you on the other hand were still pondering on the previous though.
                 ~*~ Magical diamond timeskip brought to you by Butt Stallion ~*~
        You arrived in front of HQ, an excited smile was freely and openly spread across your face. You. Dear _____-chan. Get to probably have a chance of joining the vault hunters for realsies! Woo! You walk inside, and in your pretty little head of yours you were squealing like there was no tomorrow.
        Your pace slows down as you take in the scenery. But yet your attention is drawn to heavy foot steps against metal stairs. You look over to where the sound came from to see the tallish buff black bald man you know and kinda sorta love if that’s your thing…...Batma- I mean Roland. His gaze sets upon to you, his eyes filled with love…..jk they’re filled with disappointment and unimpressment. He hates you. But don’t feel bad. He hates everyone! Especially new people. He’ll warm up to you eventually _____-san~ You baka chan~ <3 <3  (( *Gets stabbed, then shot, then hung, then burned at the stake* ))
        “And…...who is this exactly. I was told of fresh meat, but not………..this…..” Roland looked you up and down suspiciously as he walked over to the group.
        “I know I know, she doesn’t look like much. But she says she’s not from this…..what was the word again?” Axton looks over to you.
        “Dimension.” You stated meeting his gaze, an unfazed look on your face. By now you just kinda grown used to him and his……...Axton-ness.
        “I see. And why the fuck should I believe that?” Roland replied, a look of ‘are you serious’ was just dancing across his face, clear as day.
        “You don’t have to. But I can tell you a lot of things! Well not EVERYTHING! Spoilers, fabric of the universe, and what not…..” You tried convincing him. All you need was for him to accept. Then you could hint towards what happens when you insert the core into the sanctuary’s shield. Then you got ‘em from there. All you just gotta do is play your cards right and make them think they won. But in the end you could possibly have a one way ticket back home. That you probably won’t use….
        Your thoughts are cut off by Roland snapping his fingers in front of your face. “Kid. Wake up.”
         “A-Ah, right! Sir! Um…..hi.” You smiled awkwardly.
         “So what can you tell me? That will convince me, which I doubt, about this whole ‘different dimension’ shit.
        “Well…...when you insert the core, the one Axton has with him right now, into your shield generator around the sanctuary someone you wouldn’t expect of betraying you will. Not to mention Lilith-” You were cut off by Roland have a semi-surprised semi-‘I’m really not fucking trusting you right now, and each passing second the trust is getting worse; face
        “How did you know her-” Then once again you cut him off, FINALLY _____-chan finally cut someone off! WOO! Cockblock- i mean word…..block….what? Who the fuck is making me wri-ANYWAYS!!!!
        “LEMME FINISH!!! ……..Anyways like I saying before I was ever so RUDELY INTERRUPTED…….” you look over to Roland who facepalmed, “She will need many much Eridium. For what reason I can’t tell you why, but I HIGHLY suggest gathering as much as you can in a spot near town center for her. Sadly I cannot tell you more. Because it may change the entire course of the game and then I would be completely useless and you’ll probably kill me off, and I don’t want that. I like not dying. I’m allergic to dying.” You trail off, looking out the window nearby that reveals an alleyway.
        “I see. I’ll gather the Eridium like you said and put it near town center.” Roland looks over to some nearby guards. “You two! Go get as much eridium as you can find before we insert the core into the shield! That’s an order!” He shouted to them. “You better be right about this……...I’m sorry maggot, I never caught your name.”
        You pretend you never heard the word maggot in that sentence and imagine he said my fair lady or something nice like that. You then reply.
        “O-Oh um….It’s _____.” You silently curse yourself for stuttering every time someone asks your name. You just get really nervous, ok? (( ;-; ))
        “Can we just hurry up and insert the goddamn core already? I’m getting EXTREEEEEEMELY bored.” Axton yawned out ‘extremely’.
“Yeah. Let’s go.” Roland says, walking out. You guys following closely behind.










































































~*~ Jack’s place ( sly you change this shit if you want ok? Ok -ph ) (Okie :3) ~*~
    “You don’t have to. But I can tell you a lot of things! Well not EVERYTHING! Spo-” Jack clicked off the speakers.
    “Can tell me everything, huh?” Jack said, chuckling to himself, a plan forming in his Handsome mind. “Well, I might just have to take you up on that.”